


Breaking Habits

by shyeehaw



Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:03:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyeehaw/pseuds/shyeehaw
Summary: A short one-shot Micah x Reader piece. It's a bit angsty and I hope you enjoy it ^^





	1. Chapter 1

Habits are hard to create, but even harder to break. That’s why when you woke up to your empty bed, even with a hazy mind from sleep, you knew that Micah was gone. He liked tormenting you the night before any jobs, joking about how you would cry for burying him. That sadistic bastard.  
In the intimate tent of yours, some nights he wouldn’t be so playful, asking you how you would get by without him, whispering voice expressing his concern after he was gone.  
“I’m going to get by as always did, silly. But I would rather not to ok? So try to get back in one piece.”  
“Good, doll. You do that alright?”  
Those talks wore a habit of his before any job. So you knew he didn’t left for any mission.  
His absence could be found in small, painful details. His white hat, used to hang on the chair near the bed, under your bed no boots could be found. You tried taking a deep breath before opening the chest near you, only to find it almost empty. Only a few shirts and a jacket were there, as well as a engraved knife. Feeling the weight of the knife in your hand, you traced your fingers through the M.B. engraved, it was probably his father’s.  
You had no one to talk to, knowing that Dutch didn’t allowed gang members to roam off and come back later. If he was gone, he was for good, leaving you nothing to follow behind. All you had of him now where your memories, though you wish you didn’t.  
You went through all the stages of grieving the loss of your relationship. Denial was first, asking around if they had something planned for that day, anything big enough that someone would have to go hours ahead. Charles was very perceptive, and noticed how jumpy and agitated you were. You could feel that he was sorry for you.  
“I don’t think he’s coming back, Y/N. I saw him packing his horse early in the morning. It was not my place to stop him, or tell Dutch.”  
“Oh, alright then Charles, thank you for telling me.”  
It was the lack of closure that kept you awake at night, twisting and turning in a bed that once you two shared. The days went by tedious and uneventful, and every time a hovering sound haunted the back of your mind you would glance over the camp’s entry, unable to kill that useless hope you still carried with you.  
Time heals everything or so they say. But that was a wound hard to heal, every place on camp was filled with bittersweet memories, you started drinking heavily with the Reverend and Karen at night, avoiding talk to others and focusing on your tasks at day. That routine became a habit.  
You wouldn’t say you were drunk, but as is common nowadays, you were tipsy heading to your tent. So much time passed that when you saw a shoulder length blonde man going through your tent you felt your heart skipping a beat.  
“Micah?”, you said, voice cracking with emotion.  
He slowly turned to face you, his face covered in something you couldn’t read.  
“I-i left my stuff here.”  
“So you are leaving again?”  
“Yes, I am.”  
You could feel the wound growing deeper, as the suffering you went though wasn’t enough. You felt the urge to yell and cuss, but the fear of just seeing his blank stare stopped you from it. You didn’t wanted to cry, you would not give him this power over you. He didn’t have to know how much he meant to you.  
“Well, then go”, you said trying to control your voice to sound indifferent “Running seems to be all you’re good at.”  
He searched your face looking for anything of the old sweetness on your expression. You had grown stronger.  
“I see you did what you told me, doll. Getting by fine without me. Good girl.”  
You couldn’t hold back your tears anymore, his sight was like coming home after a long time. Throwing your arms around him, you only could think that if this was the last time you would want to be haunted for good. Let there be a kiss to remember years later, let there be one more good memory.  
Micah hand’s gripped your waist, bringing you closer in a heated embrace. All the time apart only made the kiss more eager, old pieces falling back where they used to fit perfectly. The last time you kissed him, he tasted like cigarettes.


	2. If we ever meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got another request at tumblr that fitted this one so I’ve made it even more painful :3

“I was doing fine, really, and then you waltz back in like you didn’t break my heart”

“H-how long?”

He remembered you well. The quick sight of your grey cotton dress and hair cascading down your back was enough to make Micah enter the saloon with a light head. He roamed in Valentine aware that he might meet you, but never sure if that’s what he wanted.  
Your paths crossed a couple of years ago only to leave bruises and regrets on the man’s heart. He swore he wouldn’t care about anyone else again after he left you behind in the camp. He rode a dead man’s horse on the early morning only to return weeks later for a last kiss.   
Keeping that promise was easy with the life he had. Not much room for feelings when you are out robbing folk and moving constantly. But there was those nights, where everyone seemed to have someone to get back to, and your face would haunt him.  
He saw your empty smile and wondered how much of your eye’s light he was responsible for putting out. Your warm voice, asking the bartender for a whiskey, woke up old memories of the things you used to whisper on his ear.   
Micah sat beside you, and asked the same drink as you. It was your turn to feel your heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice.  
“Micah?”, you turned to face him, “How are you?”  
It was a question he pictured asking you a thousand times. Everyone might have thought that he left you for another or he just got tired, but he wondered many times how you were, what did you do after he left.   
“I’m good!”, he smiled at you, making you notice how lighter his mustache were. Time comes for us all. “It’s been so long, huh?”  
You lacked of words. What could you say after everything you’ve been through? How can your mouth talk about meaningless things after all the times it swore love for the man in front of you.   
“Yes, and you... you look different.” you said, getting used to new scars and wrinkles in his face.   
“I suppose... I suppose I should explain why I left.”, Micah said. Even though he didn’t had a good explanation, none rational at least.   
He was to afraid back then, to dare have a place to call a home, to grow soft or even to have something to loose when he betted his life against another’s man bullet.   
“You don’t need to, you must’ve your reasons.” you said. Deep down you knew that anything that Micah would say would only hurt you more.   
An painful silences sits between you two, the kind of silence that can only be shared by two people that know too much about one another.  
“I was wondering if you still feel the same as me...” he said, hoping that you could understand what that meant.  
“And what is that?  
He studied your face with blue wide eyes, looking for any sign that you too felt how he did.  
“I’m a married woman now, Micah.”  
“For h-how long?”  
“For over a year now.”  
He couldn’t ignore the bitter taste in his mouth, he tried swallowing it, what only made him look more helpless. It’s never easy to learn that you could be so easily replaced.  
“Congratulations” he said, sarcastic tone in his voice. He always felt that it was shameful be a sore loser, even more over a woman, but the news caught him off guard. “I was a fool for thinking that you’ve missed me, when you are clearly doing fine on your own!”  
“I was doing fine, really, and then you waltz back in like you didn’t break my heart!? What did you expected me to do? Wait for you the rest of my life?”  
“No... that’s just fine” he got up, putting bills on the counter. “I’ll leave for good now.”  
He left as empty as the day he left.


End file.
